Lies

I read this about a month ago, and it really messed me up. I've been thinking, "I suck at this. I don't know what I'm doing." I MUST get it out of my head.

Kids are kids. Even the ones with the very best parents act bad sometimes. Potty training after age 3 is NORMAL. Tantrums are NORMAL. And most moms get burnt out from cleaning messes and repeating themselves all day every day. "Stop! Don't! Quit! No! Put that down!"

My kids act up. They don't listen. But I'm not a bad mom. I try my very hardest. I give my 100% all the time, yet I constantly feel that it's not enough. I AM ENOUGH.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

The Jesse Tree Project

What a glorious day!

It began with my favorite breakfast made by my love: fried egg, toast, and a huge mug of French pressed coffee.  I actually got to sit through Sunday school, because Michael took our noisy Baby Joy into the hallway.  Then, we met up with friends for a potluck lunch, and the kids played for hours in the lovely Fall weather.  They were so worn out, that ALL THREE slept in the car on the way home. This evening, I dropped Karis and Judah off at Awanas, and I received my set of Jesse Tree Project ornaments!

Judah and Karis dressed in their Turkey Shirts for Awanas

Three weeks ago, I met up with 23 other ladies and we each chose a Bible story from the lineage of Christ.  I chose "Elijah and the Big Fire."  I have spent every day working on 25 ornaments, exactly the same each, that represent this story about Elijah. I decided to make my ornament replicate the alter that Elijah built.  He used 12 stones and sticks (however I ran out of time and omitted the sticks).  Then Elijah poured water over the alter, and he believed that God could light the fire even though it was soaked.  And He did!
Our group met last night for the ornament exchange.  I heard it was a really neat event, but I was not able to attend due to conflict.  However, the highlight of my day today was when my friend, Kristen handed over my completed set of custom Jesse Tree Project ornaments!  Check them out...

During the month of December, our family will do this devotional together.  Each day has an ornament and a story.  This is my second set of ornaments, so this year, Karis and Judah each get to put an ornament on the tree every day.  I'm so excited!

Here's the website for those who want to learn more: http://jessetreeproject.com/

A Note of Gratitude

Baby Joy is 3 weeks old today, and as I reflect on the past 3 weeks, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness.

Shortly after Joy's safe and exciting delivery, our recovery room was full of family and friends who celebrated her birthday with us.  They brought gifts, treats, flowers, and balloons.  My heart was overflowing.  We didn't stay at the hospital long, but while we were there we received tons of love and support from our midwife and nursing staff too.

I am prone to postpartum depression, but by God's grace I have experienced the opposite during these three weeks.  Our family and friends have nourished my soul by covering my family and me with prayers, scripture, gifts, meals, and love.  The gift of meals has been a HUGE blessing.  Our fridge has remained full.  Thank you, because I could not provide food for my family during the chaos.  You lifted a heavy burden.

I am also appreciative of the understanding for the crazy things I say and do because I'm sleep deprived.  I've only had time to shower a handful of times.  I think I've fixed my hair twice and put on makeup maybe three times.  I look rough!  But the understanding from those who love me is limitless.  Thank you for supporting me as I recovered and for allowing me to have some sort of "maternity leave" even though I'm not working.

I am most grateful for my biggest supporter and number one fan.  My husband, Michael.  He coached me during my horrible labor pains.  He has constantly encouraged me, telling me I'm doing a good job being a mommy.  He's lost a lot of sleep, taking over household duties so that I can get the rest I need to stay sane.  I'm crazy in love with that man!

Thank you to my entire support system.

Photo by Shannon Bedo

Miss You, Pastor Phil

They say grief is good.  It's healthy to cry.  But I'm tired of being sad.  When will the pain end?  It seems as though I'll never stop missing Pastor Phil.  I'm looking forward to when memories of him make me smile rather than cry.  In the middle of the night, I cannot sleep because memories are replaying in my head.

Pastor Phil was a very busy man, and I'm so grateful for the time he gave to love and encourage my family.

Before we were married, he counseled Michael and me.  We discussed the 5 biggest struggles in marriage (I can't remember the order): Money, Sex, Extended Family, Time, Parenting. Pastor Phil was full of endless wisdom, and we cling to his lessons on marriage and faith. We were delighted that he and Brenda attended our marriage ceremony.  They have always been there for life's most important events.

We weren't married long when Michael was in a life-threatening accident.  It was in the evening.  Pastor Phil was off work and probably enjoying his dinner at home, but he came right away.  Pastor Phil was one of the first at the hospital to pray for us and support us during our fear.

When Michael was on a church committee that faced opposition and anger, Pastor Phil and Brenda sweetly encouraged and loved both of us.

I'll never forget the situation when a girl from my Sunday school class cried when our female youth pastor preached following a youth retreat.  She loved our church, but didn't agree that a female should preach.  Pastor Phil stood up for our youth pastor.  He explained our church's views on the matter, and suggested that this may not be the right church for her.  I felt empowered that day.  Since then, Pastor Phil, along with the Stoltenberg and Goodman families, have pushed me to get out of my cozy red chair and follow God's will to lead.  Christ calls His people to do mighty things, and He equips us for whatever he calls us to do.

Michael and I love Pastor Phil's sense of humor, and we enjoyed teasing him.  After each Sunday morning service, he'd greet folks in the "Trinity Cafe."  Michael and I referred to it as "Phil's Pub."  Our title is fitting because Pastor Phil was friendly to ALL people.  I admire how he fits in among the affluent country club/cafe type people, yet he warmly hugged the necks of visitors, children, orphans, ... me.

One Sunday, after church our "Newly Weds" class met for lunch at an Italian restaurant.  At the end of the meal, our table of TEN asked for the bill.  The waiter informed us that it's already been taken care of, and he pointed to Brenda and Phil sitting on the patio.  We were stunned by his generosity.  I still feel indebted to them.

Our daughter, Karis was born in 2011, and we were delighted when Phil and Brenda arrived at the hospital to hold our new bundle of joy and pray scripture over her. Pastor Phil was also present after the birth of our son Judah.  Pastor Phil dedicated both of our kids to the Lord at SLBC.  We're expecting our third child, and I know her birth and dedication will be joyous occasions, but I wish Pastor Phil could be there.

Karis's Dedication

Judah's Dedication

A couple months before his death, I chatted over a cup of coffee with Pastor Phil in the "Trinity Cafe."  I confessed to him that I know I shouldn't drink caffeine since I'm pregnant, but I just need it to feel normal.  Pastor Phil told me it's okay, "I understand.  I need it too."  Pastor Phil preached often about maintaining mental health by eating right, exercising, doing good for others, and avoiding watching the news.  I listened to all his advice on health, but coffee was the thing we both agree is the exception.

The list of our memories and the memories of thousands of others goes on and on.  Pastor Phil was a saint, and I'm feeling a little lost knowing that I can no longer ask him my tough questions.  I'm very grateful for the wisdom and love he gave me before going to Heaven.  I'm also grateful for his podcasts!  I'll definitely be revisiting those. SLBC Sermons

40 Verses for Lent

We are in the season of Lent and I have committed to meditating on one verse per day.  I picked out verses that God has revealed to me at some point during the past few years of Mommyhood.  As I study and memorize them, I'll tape my note cards with verses to the kitchen cabinets.  I'm looking forward to plastering my kitchen with scripture!

1.     “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31

2.     “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

3.     “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

4.     “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

5.     “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

6.     “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

7.     “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23

8.     “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

9.     “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2

10.  “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”            1 Thessalonians 5:18

11.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6,7

12.  “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105

13.  “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

14.  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Prov 3:5

15.  “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 28:19

16.  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

17.  “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

18.  “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

19.  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

20.  “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” 2 Tim 3:16

21.  “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

22.  “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

23.  “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

24.  “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit..” Romans 15:13

25.  “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

26.  “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

27.  “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

28.  “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

29.  “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

30.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

31.  “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22: 37-39

32.  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

33.  “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100:5

34.      “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100:1-2

35.  “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” Psalm 91:11

36.  "Trust in The Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

37.  “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12

38.  “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galations 2:20

39.  “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

40.  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10