Lies

I read this about a month ago, and it really messed me up. I've been thinking, "I suck at this. I don't know what I'm doing." I MUST get it out of my head.

Kids are kids. Even the ones with the very best parents act bad sometimes. Potty training after age 3 is NORMAL. Tantrums are NORMAL. And most moms get burnt out from cleaning messes and repeating themselves all day every day. "Stop! Don't! Quit! No! Put that down!"

My kids act up. They don't listen. But I'm not a bad mom. I try my very hardest. I give my 100% all the time, yet I constantly feel that it's not enough. I AM ENOUGH.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Too Scared to Be Brave

I've heard a lot of church sermons with the challenge to "be brave" or "follow your dreams."  This challenge frustrates me, as I scream inside, "I don't have time to follow my dreams!" So, again I was irritated when my Mothers of Preschoolers group announced the theme for the year: "Be You Bravely." noooooo!

Last year, I would have burned it, but now I love my sign from "Stained and Striped."

Great, I'm going to have to hear this challenge all year long.  All year long, I'll be reminded that I cannot follow my dreams.  Ten years ago, this was my plan for the future: Become a teacher, get married, have kids, continue to work, acquire masters degree.  I didn't realize having kids would interrupt these plans.  Reality check to April: Kids interrupt life!  And I have learned to be OK with that. Kids also improve my life.  My Karis and Judah are such a delight.
I can get my masters degree and go back to work later.  Right now, I'm right where I need to be.  God reminds me again and again: "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
I have learned that dreams can change.  Now, my classroom is my kitchen.  I get to teach my own children, and it is a ton of fun.  This time will soon pass, and I'm gonna love it in the meantime.  I was thinking, maybe next year the MOPS theme could be: "Embrace Change" or "Celebrate Change."

I've also learned to be brave, because my kids are brave.  Last week, before I got a flu shot I had anxiety about it.  After the shot I whined about the pain.  I took my kids for their shots today, and they were super brave!  I'm so proud of them.

40 Verses for Lent

We are in the season of Lent and I have committed to meditating on one verse per day.  I picked out verses that God has revealed to me at some point during the past few years of Mommyhood.  As I study and memorize them, I'll tape my note cards with verses to the kitchen cabinets.  I'm looking forward to plastering my kitchen with scripture!

1.     “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31

2.     “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

3.     “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

4.     “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

5.     “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

6.     “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

7.     “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23

8.     “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

9.     “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2

10.  “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”            1 Thessalonians 5:18

11.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6,7

12.  “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105

13.  “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

14.  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Prov 3:5

15.  “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 28:19

16.  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

17.  “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

18.  “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

19.  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

20.  “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” 2 Tim 3:16

21.  “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

22.  “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

23.  “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

24.  “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit..” Romans 15:13

25.  “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

26.  “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

27.  “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

28.  “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

29.  “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

30.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

31.  “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22: 37-39

32.  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

33.  “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100:5

34.      “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100:1-2

35.  “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” Psalm 91:11

36.  "Trust in The Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

37.  “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12

38.  “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galations 2:20

39.  “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

40.  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Things I Never Did Before I was a Mommy

1. Sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" in the shower
2. Eat dessert in my bedroom with the door closed so I don't have to share it with my toddler
3. Spend an entire day doing laundry
4. Rock while my kids are no where around
5. Listen to "Wheels on the Bus" 50 times in the car
6. Carry Boogie Wipes, extra pacifier, and little toys in my purse
7. Wake up 5 times per night
8. Cut food into tiny pieces
9. Go to Wal-Mart just to get out of the house
10. Clean up the most disgusting messes
11. Kiss soft little heads 1,000 times per day
12. Watch amazing minds absorb new knowledge like a sponge
13. Blow bubbles and swing in the backyard
14. Go down the slide at the neighborhood playground
15. Giggle at the sight of my kids learning to clap, jump, and spin

It's a wild ride that goes up, down, and loopity loop, but it is an amazing ride. My family is such a blessing to me. I LOVE Michael, Karis, and Judah.

Gender Reveal

On Wednesday, August 1^st we had our anatomy ultrasound.  

Profile 20 weeks 5 days

We told the doctor not to reveal the baby’s gender to us, because we wanted to wait and find out with family and friends.  Thursday morning I dropped the ultrasound results off at the baker, and Sheila baked us a cake with the appropriate color filling.  For three days we waited, but it wasn’t that bad since we’ve been curious for 20 weeks.

The guests at the restaurant were really patient too.  Everyone took a guess then ate lunch.  

Voting Boy or Girl

Waiting Patiently

We actually waited until dessert time to cut the cake.  And the filling was…

BLUE!  It's a BOY!

Mama and Daddy wore the right colors. (ok... Daddy changed shirts)

I was shocked to find out we're having a boy.  I thought we were having a boy all along, but I was still shocked.  What am I going to do with a boy?  I'll love him, and hug him, and kiss him, but later he will turn into a big boy saying, "Mom! Stop hugging me all the time."  Michael and I are thrilled to have a girl and a boy.  We're so blessed.  Thank you, Jesus for our son.  (I have a son... I have to get used to saying that.)

"Give, and it will be given to you."

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will bemeasured to you.” Luke 6:38


Mothers make a lot of sacrifices for their children, because we love them so much.  We do this without wanting or expecting anything in return.  However, sometimes we unexpectedly receive a favor in return.


On Tuesday, I ate every bite of my salad, but I pushed the avocado to the side. My mom asked, "I thought you liked avocado?"  "I do, but I'm saving it for Karis.  She loves it, and it's good for her." I didn't think anymore about the situation, and I didn't even mention it to Michael.


On Wednesday, I was eating a basic side salad from a restaurant.  Michael began topping my salad with the avocado from his burger.  This filled my heart with joy.  I gave up something that I liked on Tuesday, and now my husband was sacrificing the same thing for me.  

...just a sweet moment that I wanted to share with you :)

Me and Mr. Wonderful

The Swaddled Teenager

When Karis was a newborn, I did not swaddle her during the day, because I wanted her to save some sleep for night time.  At about two months, she was really cranky and would not nap during the day.  That's when she began napping in her swaddle or Moby wrap.  I've read articles that say you shouldn't swaddle past two months.  Oddly, that's when we began swaddling.  I guess I just do things backwards.

Karis in her "Miracle Blanket"

Karis is almost 8 months old and still sleeping in her swaddle blanket.  I haven't wanted to wean her from it, because she likes the comfort.  I've jokingly said, "I'm going to have to go to her first slumber party to swaddle her."  However, about a week ago she started rolling all over her crib, even with her arms and legs tucked nicely in the swaddle blanket.  (It's an amazing acrobatic show!)  I wake up in the middle of the night feeling very nervous that she'll end up face down or pressed against the bumper pad and suffocate.  I decided this week that we HAVE TO wean Karis from the swaddle blanket.  I anticipated a slow and difficult month of weaning.  However, it's been less than a week, and Karis is already doing great with just one arm swaddled for bedtime and naps.  I'll let her get used to this for a while, then we'll unswaddle both arms.

Baby Surveillance - One Arm Out

What's in a Name?

Today, in the grocery store, a lady looked at my little girl and said, "What's her name?"  I replied, "Karis."  She pondered a few moments and said, "Carrot, hi Carrot."  The women behind the bakery counter chimed in, "Hi Carrot."  I walked over to the ladies, and with a smile on my face said, "It's Karis.  Like Paris, but with a K."

Karis, not Carrot

People often ask me something like, "Karis?  I've never heard of it.  Where did it come from."  But, they don't say whether or not they like it (not that I care).  One Sunday morning in college, I was playing hooky from church.  The church I attended in Nacogdoches broadcasted a Sunday school class, so from my dorm room bunk bed, I viewed the lesson.  The teacher mentioned the word "charis," and he explained that it is Greek for "grace."  I had never heard this word before, but I thought it would be a pretty girl name.  Since then, I've always wanted to have a daughter and name her Charis.
Years later, when Michael and I were expecting our first child, we discussed baby names.  I told him that I love the name Charis.  He said, "I know a Charis, and I love that name."  Well that was easy!  I suggested that we change it to Karis, with a K, so the teachers don't pronounce the "ch" during roll call.
I'm not sure what we'll do about the "carrot" problem.  Poor kid.
We love our Karis.  The name suits her perfectly!

Life Outside the Tent

Eating solids has been a fun adventure.  Karis enjoys looking around while she eats.  Breastfeeding is starting to annoy her, because she is stuck under her "tent," unable to see all the excitement around her.

Here are some shots of Karis trying new things...   

First Vegetable: Organic Butternut Squash Made by Mommy

Big Brown Eyes feeding herself

More!  Feed me faster!

Fingers in the Way

First Sippy Cup

Messy Carrots

And for dessert... Mommy's face!

7 Months Old

Beautiful Baby at 7 Months

Time to get everyone caught up on the last 2 months.  Karis had her 6 month check up in January.  Here are her stats from 1 - 16 - 12:

Head Circumference: 16.5 inches - 25th percentile
Length: 26.25 inches - 75th percentile
Weight: 15 pounds - 25th percentile

Poppy Encouraging Early Literacy

 The pediatrician was a little concerned about Karis's low weight, but he said introducing solids will help.  First, we tried butternut squash.  Karis ate from a spoon like she's been doing it for years!  We've also tried rice cereal, carrots, peas, peaches, pears, mangoes, applesauce, bananas, pumpkin, and avocado.  The bananas and applesauce stopped her up.  Poor little behind.  (Prune juice remedied the constipation.) Avocado was the only food that she spit out.

Little Peanut Head

Karis also had a week of bad diaper rash at about 6 months 2 weeks.  Boudreaux's Natural Butt Paste alone wasn't doing the trick.  A friend recommended a "Sugar Cookie," butt paste with baby powder.  The sugar cookie, along with frequent baths, time without diaper, Desitin, and baby Auqufor healed those precious cheeks.

Happy Valentine's Day!

At the time of Karis's appointment, we thought we wouldn't see teeth for a while, because Karis didn't seem to be bothered by teething too much.  Wrong!  Now we have one tooth (bottom right) almost fully sprouted, and two others have appeared slightly through her gums.  It has been a painful process for Little One.  Orajel works for a few minutes, but children's Advil is (in the words of my friend, Adrian) "magic juice."

Our Funny Valentine

Karis continues to be a very active baby.  She likes to play on a mat surrounded by lots of toys.  She can sit all by herself for as long as she wants to!  Mommy and Daddy have to put her in the seated position.  Karis can also roll belly to back both right and left.  She can roll back to belly to the right only.  Karis puts her hands out in front of her, in the crawling position, rocks a little, then usually falls forward.  When she gets tired of playing on her mat, we move her to her activity table (thanks Poppy and Mae Mae!) where she can walk all the way around and play with various toys.  When Karis is tired of that, we move her to her high chair or go outside.  She rarely cries when she's outside.  I think the backyard is going to get lots of use in the future.

Playing in the backyard

Karis and Daddy

5 months old

Today Karis is five months old.  Wow!  I feel like it was just yesterday that she was only 3 weeks old.  That's because I feel like I'm a 3 week old mom, still doing the same things I did back then, still trying unsussessfully to figure out my new job.

We all survived Karis's first cold.  It lasted about 2 weeks, and her cough lingered on for another week.  During her sickness, I nursed more frequently to provide comfort for my ill baby.  I just realized a couple of days ago that even though Karis got better, I was still feeding her one or two times in the middle of the night.  Oops.  Time goes by too quickly.

Now that Karis is five months old, she is able to:
- roll from tummy to back, both left and right
- sit unassisted in her bumbo chair
- find her feet and pull her socks off
- spend up to 10 minutes on her tummy
- use arms to hold head up while on her tummy
- smile when smiled at, babble when talked to

Cereal

Karis's nutritional goal was to have nothing but breast milk until 6 months.  Before she was even 2 months, many people suggested that we try feeding her rice cereal at night to help her sleep longer.  Karis's doctor did not agree with the theory.  He was confident that she'd be sleeping better soon.  Plus, since her weight was right on track, there was no reason for an alternative form of nourishment.

At her 4 month appointment, Karis's pediatrician was surprised that Karis was not sleeping at least 8 hours at night.  He said we could go ahead and try rice cereal if we wanted to.  I definitely wanted to try it if it meant we could get some uninterrupted sleep.

We tried feeding her rice cereal from a spoon.  She happily sucked on the spoon, but did not swallow any of the cereal.  Then, we put the cereal in a bottle.  She did great with that.  The main reason we wanted to start rice cereal was to help Karis sleep through the night.  It worked for two nights, then she was back to her old routine.  I felt like the cereal was useless, plus it was creating extra work for me, having to pump every day to add liquid to Karis's cereal.  Back to plan A: solids at 6 months.  It was clear that Karis was not ready for solid foods, and when she is ready, I want her to eat from a spoon, not a bottle.

A message from Karis: (she literally did this while sitting in her Bumbo as I was proofreading)

/. .......a./

 lll.////n //.////
 n

4 Months Old

I can't believe my little cutie is already four months old.  Woah!  Slow down.  Back up.  I'm still on month one of the book, "What to Expect the First Year."  Oh well.  I guess I'll continue to figure it out as we go.

We had our four month check up today.  Karis's head circumference is in the 25th percentile, while the rest of her measurements are in the 75th percentile.  "Peanut Head" takes after her mommy.  The doctor said there is no reason to worry about this.  Karis also got to shots, and she was a champ!

Karis is still getting over her first cold and not sleeping well at night.  She rolled over for the first time a couple of weeks ago.  Karis still struggles to roll over, but she will improve.  Doc says we can start giving her rice cereal.  I think I'll try it next week.

So far, month four is the best yet!  Karis's schedule is pretty consistent, and she is becoming really wiggly and chatty.  I love hanging out with her every day!

SFA Homecoming

The first thing I said on Saturday morning was, “How much money will we lose if we cancel our hotel?”  We were already an hour late out of bed, and I really didn’t want to make the trip out of town for the weekend.  “We will lose ALL of it.”  I groaned, rolled out of bed, and began loading everything Karis owns into the Accord.  With Michael’s help, we finally made it on the road to Nacogdoches for SFA’s homecoming.  The hardest part, getting out of the house, was over, and I was excited to see my friends. 

We stopped once to feed Karis, no problems.  Then, we went straight to Stacy’s Deli in Nacogdoches to meet my college buddies for lunch.  It was so nice to see Justin, Amber, and their little girl Brynn, Brooke and her sweet boy Titus, Keri, Jacob, Shawn, Callie, Cory, Denise, Sam, and Lerin.  I was happy for Mary and Josh, because they got to go on a cruise, but I was so SAD that I didn’t get to see them at homecoming. L

It was getting close to Karis’s next meal time, but I really wanted to stop at the bookstore to buy her an SFA onesie before the game.  Poor girl.  I pushed the limit, and by the time I got to feed her she was screaming her head off.  Michael drove around, Karis took a little nap, and then I was able to feed her.

Next, we met the gang at the stadium for the football game.  Karis did great in the Moby wrap.  It was very convenient too!  We just ran into a couple of problems: First, Karis spit up all over the front of herself and on my shirt.  Then, I turned her around, thinking if she spits up, it will go on the ground.  How dare I forget about her backside!  Sure enough, Karis had an explosion, and my shirt that was covered in spit-up also got poop on it.  Gross!  I did not want to deal with this!  Praise the Lord for Karis’s daddy!  The two of us found a secluded spot to get Karis all cleaned up.  I didn’t have an extra shirt, so I just had to wipe my shirt with a baby wipe and cover the stain with my sweater.  Ugh, so embarrassing.  After all that commotion, we sat and enjoyed the game a little.  Then, it was time to eat again.  I have never hated nursing more than when I had to do it in a football stadium, surrounded on every side, plus up and down. 

Break time!  At that point, I had enough.  Michael took Karis to sit with the group while I just sat by myself for a few minutes and ate a snack.  SFA even scored a touchdown, but I didn’t care, because I was in my own little world.  SFA did end up winning the game; I can’t even tell you what the score was.

Everyone met for dinner at my old fav: La Carretta.  Karis did wonderful at the restaurant!  We spent the night at La Quinta, and I was up replacing Karis’s pacifier once per hour.  Even though I got plenty of sleep, it was interrupted a lot, and I was quite exhausted in the morning.  We didn’t have plans till 11:30, so we enjoyed hanging out in the hotel room just playing with Karis. 

For lunch, we met up with Mary’s parents, Rita and JB.  They treated us at Cotton Patch.  So nice!  It was wonderful to catch up with them.  As usual, they showed us lots of love and encouragement.  Lots of people stopped at our table to ask if Karis was their granddaughter. J

The drive home went well.  Karis slept most of the way.  She was glad to get out of her carseat when we got home!

What time is it? Joy time!

Last week Karis was crying a lot.  She screamed so loud, and often there was nothing I could do to fix it.  It was stressing me out.  One evening, she finally fell asleep around midnight and woke up at 4:30 and 6:30.  I was exhausted and feeling totally down.  I sat on my bed crying and praying, “Lord, I can’t do this.  I NEED you.  Please help me through this phase.”  I had also been praying for peace and acceptance of my decision to stay at home rather than going back to work.  At 7:04 that morning, I woke up feeling delirious and confused.  I stared at the clock, and all I could see was JOY (as if the 7 was upside down).  Joy?  What did it mean?  I felt the Lord’s comfort right then, telling me He’d give me joy.  Then I dug through the Bible for a verse that would give me comfort.  Again, God spoke, “I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and peace while you trust in him.  Then your hope will overflow by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13. The next night, I dreamt that my friend, Shannon and I were doing a word search.  The first word on the list was “joy.”  I pointed to the word and exclaimed, “There it is! Joy!  I found joy!”  When I woke up, I felt overwhelmed with peace and joy, and I knew that my friend Shannon had been praying for me.  Praise the Lord for taking care of me and meeting my needs in low moments like these. 

Enjoying every moment