Trying to Conceive (TTC)

WARNING!!! This post may be TMI, but keep in mind, the purpose is to inform IC patients about my personal experiences with pregnancy.  STOP reading if you’d rather not know my personal details.

At my preconception checkup, I asked my OB lots of questions, including, “What if this takes a while?  When can we find out if my husband or I have fertility problems?”  She told me to try for a year and come back if we are unsuccessful.  A year?!  I’m way too impatient for that.

I immediately began researching conception.  I also printed a wonderful chart from thebump.com.  This helped me keep track of every little detail about my cycle including: start, finish, ovulation days, temperature, soreness, cramping, love-making days, etc.  I bought an inexpensive “basal body temperature” thermometer from the grocery store.  In addition to the chart, I kept track of all of these using 2 different apps on my phone.  (I know… a little obsessive)  The apps told me my fertile days and the best days to try to conceive.

Well, obviously books, charts, and apps won’t get a person pregnant!  It was time for Hubby’s favorite part, getting busy.  I read that when trying to conceive, after a session of love-making you should try to just lie down for 10-15 minutes (please don’t make me explain why).  That was difficult!  IC patients are prone to infection.  To prevent infections, cleanliness is key.  After trying to conceive, I wanted to jump up, go the bathroom, and take a bath to relieve that usual pain.  There were many times that I think we may have missed out on fertilization because I could not lie there.  I’d just say, “Oh well; next month.”  However, some people don’t think it matters whether or not you lie down for a while or get up right away.

A person with IC has to take advantage of the good days and rest on the bad days, but that was difficult when a chart was telling me exactly which days I must make-love.  I found myself, once again saying, “Oh well; next month” when I was experiencing too much discomfort to try to conceive.  I hate to tell you this, but by the fourth month, I was just desperate to get pregnant already; so, I had to fight through the pain on those bad IC days.

Yikes! I really hate to end a post in this discouraging way, but I’m being honest.  Trying to conceive was not simple, and it took time.  Both partners have to be understanding, and sacrifices have to be made.  Keep reading to learn about the rewards Michael and I are already experiencing…    

Leap of Faith

For about 10 or 15 years, I’ve felt a strong calling and desire to adopt children.  This is mostly because I’m deeply burdened by the overwhelming number of children in orphanages and foster care.  The thought of any child growing up without a loving mommy and daddy brings tears to my eyes.  Another reason I’ve wanted to adopt is because, since I was diagnosed with IC, I’ve learned that pregnancy and labor can be a painful mystery.  Lastly, as an adult I’ve realized that I’ve never had a desire to bear children.  I’ve never once thought, “It’ll be so neat to feel a baby in my belly and try on maternity clothes.”  (Of course, I played house and carried a baby doll around when I was little, but I never wanted to pop one out!) That realization made me wonder if God’s plan for me is to adopt one or several children.

I would have been perfectly fine with adopting all of our children and having none naturally.  However, my husband, Michael has always dreamt of having offspring with his wife.  We both spent several years discussing/researching the options and praying for God’s will.  Michael still didn’t feel that same tug on his heart.  That’s perfectly understandable!  I think adoption is wonderful, but I know that God does not call everyone to do it. 

Finally, we decided that we would try to have our first baby and see where God leads us after that.  This was a terrifying decision, because like I said earlier, I have NEVER wanted to be pregnant, and I never thought I would be.  Of course, we put it off, because the other terrifying part is the knowledge that our lives (finances, time, etc.) will drastically change when there is a baby to raise.

In May 2010 we said, “Ok, we can’t put this off anymore.  God wants us to “be fruitful and multiply,” and we want to be obedient to his calling.”  So, even though we were still scared, we leapt into the unknown.  Now that we are expecting, I have spent a lot of time worrying and even crying in fear that I cannot take good care of this baby.  My Sunday school and small group friends have been wonderful prayer warriors.  Lately, I’ve felt an unimaginable peace in knowing that our baby girl is safe in God’s magnificent hands.

Registering

Just a few days after finding out that we were having a girl, our friends, Troy and Kristin went to Babies-R-Us with us to help us register.  I had no idea what I would need, and I desperately needed the help of an experienced mommy.  When we arrived at the store, there was paper work to fill out.  I was excited to get to shopping.  So, Kristin and I went with her son Turner to preview the world of strange baby items: Boppies, Wub-a-nubs, Bumbos, Snoogles, etc.  Michael and Troy sat down at the registry table to fill out paperwork.  The lady looked at them, a bit puzzled, as she walked them through the questions.  She asked, “Will you be adopting?”  Woah! Wrong idea.  The lady thought Michael and Troy were registering for a kid together.  Ugh.  I will never forget this. 

After Karis’s arrival, I pretty much had everything I needed.  Here are some of the essentials: 

For the Hospital:

- Nursing Bra or Cami

- Boppy Pillow

- Baby wipes (the hospital didn’t have any!)

- Baby socks and mittens

- travel system (car seat/stroller)

At Home:

- At least one package of new born diapers (better to be prepared before and return them later if you don’t need them)

- LOTS of burp rags

- Medela bump

- a few baby bottles

- micro steam cleaning bags (Don’t stay up all night boiling bottles… learn from my mistake.)

- diaper gene

- bouncer or swing

- NEWBORN pacifiers (I didn’t realize they come in different sizes. Poor K sucked on a 3-6 month paci for about a week.)

- white noise machine (or radio turned to a static station)