Too Scared to Be Brave

I've heard a lot of church sermons with the challenge to "be brave" or "follow your dreams."  This challenge frustrates me, as I scream inside, "I don't have time to follow my dreams!" So, again I was irritated when my Mothers of Preschoolers group announced the theme for the year: "Be You Bravely." noooooo!

Last year, I would have burned it, but now I love my sign from "Stained and Striped."

Great, I'm going to have to hear this challenge all year long.  All year long, I'll be reminded that I cannot follow my dreams.  Ten years ago, this was my plan for the future: Become a teacher, get married, have kids, continue to work, acquire masters degree.  I didn't realize having kids would interrupt these plans.  Reality check to April: Kids interrupt life!  And I have learned to be OK with that. Kids also improve my life.  My Karis and Judah are such a delight.
I can get my masters degree and go back to work later.  Right now, I'm right where I need to be.  God reminds me again and again: "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
I have learned that dreams can change.  Now, my classroom is my kitchen.  I get to teach my own children, and it is a ton of fun.  This time will soon pass, and I'm gonna love it in the meantime.  I was thinking, maybe next year the MOPS theme could be: "Embrace Change" or "Celebrate Change."

I've also learned to be brave, because my kids are brave.  Last week, before I got a flu shot I had anxiety about it.  After the shot I whined about the pain.  I took my kids for their shots today, and they were super brave!  I'm so proud of them.

Trip to Peru

Ready!
Bags packed, taxi on its way, time for the moment I dreaded the most.  Saying goodbye to our children was the most difficult thing about our trip.  I knew they'd be safe and happy with their grandparents.  I was just sad about missing them for 9 days, and I knew it was unlikely, but I was scared there would be a freak accident and I'd never see them again.  So many tears.  I made a little photo album for the trip, and I spent a lot of time staring at their precious faces.

Once the goodbyes were over, we began the long journey to Peru.  Taxi to airport, flight to San Salvador, flight to Lima, flight to Cusco.  TIRED!

Cusco, Peru

View of Cusco

We arrived at our hotel in Cusco early in the morning, with the whole day ahead of us.  We could have explored the city, but instead we passed out in the hotel lobby while the staff prepared our room.  Once in the lovely room, we got a good nap, in a cozy bed.  Then, we were ready to go have fun.
Lunch was at Green's Organic, where I had a delicious, warm vegetarian sandwich.  Then, we traveled by cab to some archaeological sites.  It was a nice "sample platter" of what was to come.

Tombomachay

Tombomachay

Tombomachay

Puca Pucara

Alpaca too close! at Sacsayhuaman

70 ton rock at Sacsayhuaman

Energy rock at Sacsayhuaman

Aguas Calientes
After the Inka trail hike, our bus dropped us off at in Aguas Calientes.  We got to have one last meal with the family.  What a special bond we all shared on our journey.  I'll never forget those 16 family members, plus guides, chefs, and porters.
After lunch, Michael and I went to our hotel for a shower and nap.  That was the best shower ever!  Of course Michael booked another fancy hotel.  We watched the river from our balcony and contacted our families.  That nap never happened.  After a gourmet dinner, we got to meet up with 4 other family members that were also sleeping in Aguas Calientes that evening.  We also got to finally try this "pisco" liquor that is signature in Peru.

On our second day in Aguas Calientes we got massages, did some shopping, and ate some Peruvian food.  In the evening we took a luxurious train ride to our next destination....

Peru Rail

Urabumba
Michael ended our trip with the most luxurious of all of our hotel rooms.  Tambo Del Inka was beautiful!  It was dark when we arrived, but we still hit the heated indoor/outdoor pool followed by a sit in the sauna.  Dinner at the hotel restaurant was elegant and delicious.

After a deep slumber in that cozy bed, we spent the next morning walking around the market.  We didn't stay long because the smells were getting to me.  Streets were lined with women selling meats, fruits and vegetables, and beautiful flowers.  We didn't find any souvenirs.  After the market we took a cab to the salt mines.  Michael's recollection and use of Spanish was impressive.  He got us all over Peru.  I'm lucky to get to travel with him.
The salt mines in Moray were quite fascinating.  We didn't have a tour guide, and I could tell that our cab driver wanted to tell us all about it, but he didn't speak English.  He was very enthusiastic as he gestured to us to look at the flats.  The work that the Inkas did to mine the salt was brilliant.

View of Urabumba from Moray, near Salt Mines

The salt mines in Moray was our last quick adventure before catching our flight home.  Our ride picked us up at our hotel at about 11:30 am.  I really can't sleep in cars, but I slept all the way to the airport.  I didn't realize how exhausted I was.  It was a long and tiring journey home.  I was delighted at last to embrace my sweet babes when we got home.

Camino Inka - Inka Trail to Machu Picchu

Briefing
On Monday, the evening before our hike, we had a meeting at SAS Travel Peru.  (I HIGHLY recommend this travel agency.) We met the 16 members of our "familia" and our two guides, Jimmy and Hernan.  Jimmy gave a quick summary of each day and answered questions.  I had two questions: 1. Will there be bathrooms along the trail? answer: no. 2. Does the weight of my luggage exceed the porter limit? answer: yes.  Then, I cried, "Michael, I don't want to do this. Take me home."  It certainly wasn't the last time he heard that.  You see, we had to take all of our luggage on the trail, because we weren't planning to return to the base camp in Cusco.  Michael decided to carry his hiking backpack on the trail, so it worked out fine.  I wish that he didn't have to do that though.

First Time Meeting Our Family

 Inka Trail - Day 1

The travel company picked us up at our hotel at 6am.  Then, we drove for 2 hours on a bumpy, windy road.  We stopped for breakfast, and suddenly the "car sickness" hit me.  While our team enjoyed their scrambled eggs, I was outside puking.  Again, I moaned, "Michael, I can't do this. Take me home."  (Travelers, this is why I recommend Dramamine or Seabands.)  I didn't really have a choice, so we boarded the bus and drove a little further.  I sat in the front feeling extremely weak.  I whispered to Jimmy, "Do you have Gatorade?" And a second later I passed out.  The bus stopped and people were all around me.  So embarrassing, but I really didn't care at the moment.  I moaned and puked some more.  And that was it... For the rest of the day I felt super.

Pre Hike Pep Rally

Entering the Trail

At the trail head, we got our passports stamped and took a few group photos.  The morning hike was mostly flat and easy.  The weather and scenery were gorgeous.  We arrived at lunch and the food looked fantastic.  However, I didn't eat much because my tummy was still a little weak.  The afternoon hike was pretty easy too.  The team was excited to arrive at our first night of camp.  The porters were already there with tents set up and buckets of warm water for washing.  Again, the chef cooked up a wonderful meal.  I should have avoided the fried cauliflower (or maybe it was the vodka I poured in my hot cocoa :p), because I was up all night running (in the rain) to the restroom.  (Yes, there was a toilet to use.  I don't know why our guide, Jimmy told me there wouldn't be.)

First Night @ Camp

Inka Trail - Day 2

I didn't sleep much the first night, so I began day 2 feeling really sleepy.  Unfortunately, day 2 would require the most energy.  I slept through breakfast, and Jimmy brought some Coca tea to my tent.  That got me moving.  When I finally got dressed and emerged from my tent, the entire camp site was packed up except for me.  Embarrassed again.  I felt like such a wimp.  For the second morning in a row, everyone was worried about me, the little baby.  One team member gave me some Pepto, and by 10am I was feeling like myself again.
One fun thing about that morning that I should recall: Before hitting the trail, we got to circle up with all of the porters and cooks.  We went around the circle and introduced ourselves.  I'm so very grateful for all of their hard work.

Our Family with Porters and Cooks

We continued to ascend all morning.  By lunch time, our family was quite spread out along the trail.  Everyone paced themselves well, and took breaks when needed.  At one point the fog cleared, and we all met up at a gorgeous view of the valley.  It was easy to forget to look up, but every time I did, I was amazed by the view.  Green mountains everywhere.  At this lookout, Michael noticed some cell reception.  We received a message that Karis had been asking for Mommy in the mornings.  I had to find a place to hide and cry.  So tired and missing my children.  Michael and a couple other guys wandered off to an optional peak, so I was alone in my sadness.  Again, I had no choice but to press on.

I tried to distract myself by chatting with the other girls in the hiking group.  It was really fun getting to know this neat group of people.  There were several Texans, some Canadians, New Yorkers, and a couple from London.  All adventurous travelers.
After lunch, our goal was "Dead Woman's Pass" at 4,200 meters (13,800 feet).  As we climbed, we could see the peak.  Yay! We finally arrived... unfortunately there was no view because it was rainy and foggy.  We celebrated for about 30 seconds then began the descent.  Downhill was a nice break at first, but after two hours of stepping on slippery, steep rocks with rain drops blurring my vision, I was sick of it.
We arrived at camp just before sunset.  What a loooong day!  As usual, camp was beautiful with the river rushing alongside.  At last, I slept great that night.

Dead Woman's Pass

 Inka Trail - Day 3
Day 3 was the most fun.  For the first time, I woke up feeling rested and energized, knowing that the most difficult day was behind.  (My only trouble was the annoying tingle in both hands due to some preventative altitude sickness medicine that I regret taking.) The trail was kind of steep in the morning, but we got two lovely breaks to see some archaeological sites.

At the highest point of the day, our family circled up, and our guide, Jimmy did some preachin'.  He reminded us that everyone on earth may be different, but we are from the same maker.  We need to pray for the poor, the hurting, and the people in hospitals that we do not even know.  Then, we held hands and prayed silently.  Pachamama is the Earth/Time Mother of the Andean people, and our guide spoke of her often.  Even though the Inkas were polytheistic, I think our guide is a believer in Jesus Christ.  He invited us to worship whoever we wanted.  It was freeing to stop and reflect and thank God for the beauty that surrounded us.  I also spent that time praying for the wonderful porters and chefs that traveled with us.
The afternoon trail was all downhill.  It rained off and on, so I kept my poncho in hand.  During the last hour, there was an optional hike to an archaeological site.  Of course I went!  I ended the day with an energetic sprint finish into camp.
At dinner we celebrated family member, Kaitee's birthday.  We were all stunned by the beautiful cake that the chef baked and decorated.  It was a really moving moment, and I think all the girls shed at least a tear.

Inka Trail - Day 4 Machu Picchu and Huayna Picchu
I woke up about 1:30 am and absolutely could not fall back asleep.  I reviewed my days on the Inka trail over and over in my head.  What a journey it had been, and arriving at Machu Picchu in the morning would be my reward.  I could not wait to hit the trail.  Finally, I got a little more rest, and our guide Hernan woke everyone up at 3:30 am.  In the dark, we rushed to pack everything up and eat some breakfast.  We hiked a little in the rain and arrived at the check point, where I guess there were a few hundred people in line (really I had no clue, it was dark).  Then, we waited for an hour for some guy to unlock the gate.

After a quick 2 hour hike through the mist and fog, we arrived at Machu Picchu.  At the entrance, our family just stood there, staring at the fog.  It didn't take long for the weather to change, and we got some group photos with the archaeological site in the background.

Foggy View of Machu Picchu - I Did It!!

To be perfectly honest, I was disappointed.  The crowd that beat us to Machu Picchu overwhelmed me.  I don't like crowds, and I guess there were at least 1,000 people there that morning.  It was like Disney World.  Eventually, groups spread out with their tour guides, and our family got to tour the site.  It was HUGE!  We barely covered 5% of it.

At the edge of the site, half of our family headed down the mountain by bus for some R & R, while the other half of us continued our journey up to Huayna Picchu.  I wasn't looking forward to it, because neither of our guides joined us.  I was nervous without their guidance and protection.  I was especially anxious when Hernan waved goodbye to us and said, "Good luck!"  The mountain trail was steep, narrow, and damp, but our group was strong.  We climbed with energy and excitement.  I had fun climbing on my hands and knees on the really steep parts.  Since the trail was narrow, it was scary when hikers passed going in the opposite direction.  Luckily, this trail wasn't nearly as crowded as Machu Picchu.

Huayna Picchu Group

When we were so close to the top, the trail got very narrow, and I panicked.  I felt the immediate need to get off of that mountain and home to my children.  I sent the group on, and I found a place to sit and wait.  I did have a really nice view of Machu Picchu from my spot.  I'm such a chicken.  Oh well.  I don't regret my decision.
As soon as I saw that Michael and the rest the family reached the top, I yelled, "Do you care if I head down!?"  Michael waved to me to go ahead. I headed down that mountain as quickly as possible.  I had to use the restroom, and I was concerned that we'd miss the last bus ride out.  The Huayna Picchu portion of our family completed the hike, and we were proud.  We rushed back through Machu Picchu and managed to all meet up on the same bus.  At last, we were finished!

Machu Picchu with Huayna Picchu on the Right

Inka Trail Preparation

One Year Ago
About a year ago I was looking over my bucket list and I had the crazy idea of adding "Machu Picchu" to it.  Michael saw the addition, and he started planning our trip immediately.  (He's been wanting to travel to South America.)  I was not ready for a long trip away from our kids, so we did our best to come to a compromise.

Planning
Michael did all the travel preparations: made sure our passports were up to date, purchased trail permits, purchased plane and train tickets, etc.  I was terrified about the physical aspect, so I put myself on a training schedule to build my endurance.  I achieved my fitness goal about 2 weeks prior to the trip, so physically, I was ready.  We also did some breathing exercises to increase lung capacity. (There is a lot less oxygen in Cusco, Peru due to altitude.)

Inka Trail Pack List
I started working on my pack list early, but even while on the trail I thought of things I wished I had packed, so I added some things to help readers that are planning their trip. Also, there are links to examples.

o 4 pairs underwear (cotton is fine)

o 2 dry-fit tank tops

o 2 dry-fit, high impact, sports bras

o 2 dry-fit, long sleeve, warm base layer

o 2 wool pants (base layer)

o Water Resistant Hiking Pants

o Fleece sweater

o Waterproof coat

o Waterproof Hiking Boots

o 4 sock liners

o 2 wool socks

o Warm Earband or Beanie

o Wool gloves

o Buff
o Cap or Sun hat

o Sunscreen

o Insect repellant

o Make up/mirror (optional)

o Sunglasses

o Passport

o Poncho

o Warm sleeping bag

o Thermarest

o Waterproof bags for everything

o Headlamp (Don’t plan to share!)

o Bladder for water

o Daypack

o Sandals
o Hand sanitizer

o Biodegradable wipes
o travel kleenex

o Toothbrush/toothpaste

o Towel

o Comb & ponytail holder
o Snacks (granola, Cliff bars, etc.)
o Candied Ginger or capsules (optional)

o Extra gear, gifts, tips for Porters (added)

o Dramamine/Seabands for bumpy bus ride to trailhead (added)

o Wristwatch (added)

o Pepto (added)

40 Verses for Lent

We are in the season of Lent and I have committed to meditating on one verse per day.  I picked out verses that God has revealed to me at some point during the past few years of Mommyhood.  As I study and memorize them, I'll tape my note cards with verses to the kitchen cabinets.  I'm looking forward to plastering my kitchen with scripture!

1.     “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31

2.     “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

3.     “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

4.     “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

5.     “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

6.     “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

7.     “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23

8.     “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

9.     “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2

10.  “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”            1 Thessalonians 5:18

11.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6,7

12.  “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.” Psalm 119:105

13.  “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” Psalm 119:11

14.  “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Prov 3:5

15.  “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Matthew 28:19

16.  “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

17.  “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

18.  “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7

19.  “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

20.  “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.” 2 Tim 3:16

21.  “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

22.  “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

23.  “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

24.  “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit..” Romans 15:13

25.  “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

26.  “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

27.  “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

28.  “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

29.  “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35

30.  “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

31.  “Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22: 37-39

32.  “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

33.  “For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.” Psalm 100:5

34.      “Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.” Psalm 100:1-2

35.  “For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;” Psalm 91:11

36.  "Trust in The Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

37.  “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12

38.  “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galations 2:20

39.  “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

40.  “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

Things I Never Did Before I was a Mommy

1. Sing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" in the shower
2. Eat dessert in my bedroom with the door closed so I don't have to share it with my toddler
3. Spend an entire day doing laundry
4. Rock while my kids are no where around
5. Listen to "Wheels on the Bus" 50 times in the car
6. Carry Boogie Wipes, extra pacifier, and little toys in my purse
7. Wake up 5 times per night
8. Cut food into tiny pieces
9. Go to Wal-Mart just to get out of the house
10. Clean up the most disgusting messes
11. Kiss soft little heads 1,000 times per day
12. Watch amazing minds absorb new knowledge like a sponge
13. Blow bubbles and swing in the backyard
14. Go down the slide at the neighborhood playground
15. Giggle at the sight of my kids learning to clap, jump, and spin

It's a wild ride that goes up, down, and loopity loop, but it is an amazing ride. My family is such a blessing to me. I LOVE Michael, Karis, and Judah.